Insurance Companies Reduce Premiums for Gamers

Get those thumbs warmed up! You can now have your car insurance premiums reduced by demonstrating video game prowess. Finally, what parents thought was a waste of time now translates directly into cash. Major insurance companies are on board with the mathematical backing that gamers actually get into less accidents.

As a matter of fact, insurance is becoming gamified, and it's working to reduce collisions. Insurance companies are giving gamers a 1-5 star rating when they play video games such as Farmville and Grand theft Auto, in order to increase their experience. In the real world, you can collect badges for beating missions set up by the insurance companies. The better you are, the more money you save.

In a letter to the public, the President of Manuknife Financial stated:

We gauge people's ability to make quick and correct decisions and stay calm in tight situations. Quick thinking is a transferable skill that can be measured by video game playing and produces better drivers.

Our research has found that most genres of gameplay, not just racing, can make drivers better. Prove to us that you're good at a game and we'll reduce your monthly bill.

The calculus shows that our customers who play video games are in fact better drivers. We're giving them the opportunity to showcase their skill to us in the real world.

Emma Emmerich a 5-star gamer already has 52 badges from 6 different insurance companies.

"They asked me to perform a mission, and I did. I get a badge and BAM my insurance premiums keep going down. I pay like $25/mo of insurance for my Lambo. This is great!"

Emmerich was arrested by the military after she downed 3 helicopters in order to earn insurance badges. While insurance claims have begun to sharply decline throughout the country, the number of hooker shootings has skyrocketted.