First Born Martian Set to Invade Earth

Nearly ten years after the first humans were abandoned on the red planet, Mars introduces its first true-blood Martian! Named 'Marvin' after Disney's raygun-slinging freak, the boy only had a few mutations. "We expected that low gravity and other atmospheric conditions would affect the fetus", Clyde, the father, says, "but the red skin and antennas were a bit of a surprise. Luckily, all currently known mutations appear to be purely cosmetic." There is some debate, however, as to whether the elongated skull will lead to a greater intelligence. For that, we'll have to wait until little Marvin is old enough to communicate and we can start probing into the mind of this alien test subject.

Marvin the Martian

Marvin has already shown an affiliation for high-powered laser weapons. One can't help but wonder if he'll turn out to have a militaristic mindset. "There are concerns that his parents will be encouraging destructive behavior and anti-Earth sentiment because of both his status as the first Martian and his name. At a young age, it will be cute and no doubt encouraged by viewers. But his development will guide future Martians, so we have to make sure he receives stimulus that encourages good behavior.", a leading child behavior analysts says.

NASA has echoed the concerns. They state that they will remove luxury items from shipments, delay shipments, or potentially even skip shipments altogether in order to encourage the parents to do the right thing. "It's risky for the rest of the colony, but it's very important.", says an anonymous NASA employee. "Raising Marvin the wrong way can completely ruin the $500 billion investment we've made to get the colony started on Mars". No comment was made on the revenues generated by the reality TV and youtube channel, and whether the increases these saw by a destructive little Marvin would be worthwhile.

The mother, Bonnie, is doing well. "I'm so glad Marvin's healthy", she says. "I hope one day we can return to Earth with our child. I would love for him to be able to see it." While NASA originally stated they will not fund a return trip, the birth of Marvin is increasing the pressure for them to do so. It is believed that NASA is likely to bring Marvin to visit Earth, causing a flurry of comments surrounding the upcoming #MartianInvasion.

As always, continuing development of the Mars colony is covered on their youtube channel. While the focus will undoubtedly be on Marvin for the foreseeable future, rumors continue to surround Blanche's odd behaviors, adding speculation as to whether the Martian army will shortly be doubled.