Canada Updates its Flag to make it look Prettier

Newly elected Prime Minster Trudeau received world praise this week for fulfilling his first and foremost campaign promise: To update Canada’s flag and make it look prettier. This issue has been at the heart of most Canadians and likely swayed the recent election vote in favour of 28 year old Xavier James Trudeau, Canada’s youngest ever Prime Minister. Trudeau won in a landslide vote, garnering 34.3% of the popular vote, and sweeping incumbent Ben Harper away in defeat. Many believe that Ben Harper was lacking the heart needed to run the country, and thus lost many seats in Parliament despite his economic prowess and a $19 billion surplus in 2035.

Trudeau was quick to make drastic changes in the government, which Canadians applauded as they were sick of the status quo. The Canadian flag, which was created in 1965, has not been updated for an astounding 70 years. It was unheard of how a country can keep the same dull symbol for such a long period of time.

"A newly refreshed and prettier flag will create a better brand image for Canada on a global scale." Trudeau Stated

Trudeau hired a team of designers, architects, sewers, artists, nationals from all 10 provinces and 3 territories, and an elite group of historians and mathematicians required to verify the historical accuracy of the flag's properties and dimensions. Exactly half of the team was made up of women, which displayed Trudeau's stance on gender equality. When asked why this was a requirement to draw up a new flag, Trudeau elegantly replied: “Because it's 2035.”

The new flag still retains its historical 1:2:1 proportions and its Maple Leaf symbol, but now has more glitter and is considered more vibrant by 89% of cabinet ministers. The cost of the labour and materials required to update the flag and replace it with all the old ones increased Canada’s debt load by $4.3 billion – a measure of the success of the Canadian economy.